In a Duke University study out November 22, researchers found that pre-teen girls may not be any better at friendships than boys, despite previous research suggesting otherwise. The findings suggest that when more serious violations of a friendship occur, girls struggle just as much and, in some ways, even more than boys.
The girls in this study were just as likely as boys to report that they would seek revenge against an offending friend, verbally attack the friend and threaten to end the friendship when their expectations were violated, such as telling one of their secrets to other children.
The girls also reported they were more bothered by the transgressions, felt more anger and sadness, and were more likely to think the offense meant their friend did not care about them or was trying to control them…
“Our finding that girls would be just as vengeful and aggressive toward their friends as the boys is particularly interesting because past research has consistently shown boys to react more negatively following minor conflicts with friends, such as an argument about which game to play next,” Asher said. “It appears that friendship transgressions and conflicts of interest may push different buttons for boys and girls.”
The study found that anger and sadness played significant roles in how boys and girls reacted to offending friends. For both genders, the more strongly they felt a friend had devalued them or was trying to control them, the more anger and sadness they felt.
The angrier they felt, the less likely they wanted to fix the relationship. But feelings of sadness actually motivated both genders toward reconciliation: The more sadness the children reported feeling, the stronger their desire was to want to solve the problem and maintain the friendship.
Sadness, the authors said, can sometimes function like “social glue” that holds relationships together. -Science Daily
I began to exist in a tension between wanting and not wanting-waiting for something I couldn’t even pin down in my most naked and honest moments. Waiting for a balance where I neither ached nor forgot, regretted nor accepted. Waiting for my heart to be light again yet fearing the implications of that same lightness. I suppose I waited for peace-an end to my own personal warfare. -Nicole Baart, After the Leaves Fall
The Pennsylvania Quakers initially introduced the concept of reforming criminals through time spent under confinement. The Quakers built a small prison, which was comprised of sixteen individual and fully isolated cells. This new concept was intended to achieve reform by forcing criminals to serve out their entire sentence in complete isolation and silence. The criminals were left only with a Holy Bible and the reformers believed that this would help them to achieve penance. It was from this practice that the word “penitentiary” was cast into modern society. Michael Esslinger, Alcatraz: A Definitive History of the Penitentiary Years
Welcome to the Carnival of Creativity for February 26, 2012. All links will open in a new tab or window, so feel free to click through and leave some love in the comments. Once you close that window, you’ll be right back here for more linky goodness.
The Creative Mindset
Chrys Fey presents Yes, You Can Write A Novel! posted at Write With Fey, saying, “Writing a novel has never been impossible in the past, nor will it ever be in the future. Anyone can do it, even you!”
Pamela Jorrick presents A Letter A Day posted at Blah, Blah, Blog, saying, “Why do I participate in these crazy challenges that I find on the internet? I don’t really know. I actually don’t need any more challenge in life, but this sounded like a fun idea, so I wanted to give it a try.”
Sheila Scarborough presents How to know when your content is pinned on Pinterest posted at Sheila’s Guide To The Good Stuff, saying, “The visual bulletin board service Pinterest is getting a lot of attention lately, and it’s certainly fun, but how do you know if your own content has been pinned on someone else’s board? This post gives a quick how-to explanation.”
Sharing Our Work
Kate Croston presents 20 Biggest Soccer Tragedies and the Internet Response posted at Internet Service, saying, “The history of soccer is dotted with some of the worst tragedies ever recorded in sports. Whether by natural means, or by the hands of men, there have been numerous disastrous events throughout soccer’s past.”
Lindsay Willison presents 10 Ways to Get Even with Automated Answering Services posted at Landline Phone Service, saying, “The chances of reaching a live person when placing a call these days get slimmer all the time. Every call turns into a form of techno-gymnastics, hopping through a maze of push-button options until you finally reach a human being, if ever.”
Coleen Torres presents 10 SOPA Boycotts That Were Impressive posted at phonetvinternet.com, saying, “The hotly contested Stop Online Piracy Act was one of the most controversial issues of late 2011 and early 2012. Lawmakers, entertainers and consumers alike spoke out vociferously against the potentially-dangerous legislation, which was eventually shelved.”
Writing Tips and Prompts
Rebecca Joines Schinsky presents 7 Surprise Twists I’d Rather Live Without [or The Airing of Grievances, Literary Style] at BookRiot.
Writing Excuses presents The City as a Character at WritingExcuses. Mary and Dan discuss using a city as a character with Sarah Pinborough, for whom London is an important setting and one of her favorite places.
Greg Phelps presents Give a photographer a promotion… posted at Lucrative Lumens, saying, “The specific examples of marketing techniques in this article apply to pro portrait photographers but the concept discussed could easily benefit other types of photographers or even people in other lines of business who want to raise their profile in the community.”
The Business of Creativity
Hannah Howard presents 10 Reasons Most Social Bookmarking Sites Suck posted at Longhorn Leads, LLC, saying, “The trouble with most social bookmarking sites is that they don’t have the proper balance that would make them as useful as they could be. Either there are too many sites that rank highly for no apparent reason, or there are too few gems to pluck from the sea of rubbish to make the effort worthwhile.”
Valaney Martin presents How to get your game noticed and get paid from it posted at Ubiquitense, saying, “Here are some guidelines for the average indie game developer to follow so that there’s a better chance of their game being noticed and making a profit from it.”
Writing Quote of the Week
Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there. -Thomas Berger
Spam of the Week
An intriguing speech is couturier annotate. I think that you should write statesman on this message, it mightiness not be a preconception soul but generally grouping are not enough to verbalise on specified topics. To the next. Cheers.
Well, thank you, I think…
That’s all for this week. Be sure to submit your article for next week’s Carnival of Creativity by Saturday at midnight!
Create whatever this visual prompt inspires in you!
Photo by Bahman Farzad on Flickr.
I first see it as I’m driving back that night up the road—you can bet I pulled over. -Tanith Lee, Black Fire (free to read at Lightspeed magazine online)
befuddle v. [with obj.] (usually as adj. befuddled) cause to become unable to think clearly: even in my befuddled state I could see that they meant trouble.
People are like oceans, the powerful stuff moves deep down and you almost never see it. -David Tallerman, Jenny’s Sick (free to read at Lightspeed Magazine online)
People liked potential partners that matched their ideals more than those that mismatched their ideals when they examined written descriptions of potential partners, but those same ideals didn’t matter once they actually met in person, according to a new study by psychologists Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel and Alice H. Eagly.
“People have ideas about the abstract qualities they’re looking for in a romantic partner,” said Eastwick, assistant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University and lead author of the study. “But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible.”
Say you prefer a partner who, online or on paper, fits the bill of being persistent. “After meeting in person, you might feel that, yeah, that person is persistent, but he can’t compromise on anything. It’s not the determined and diligent kind of persistent that you initially had in mind,” Eastwick said.
The idea is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, said Finkel, associate professor of psychology at Northwestern University and co-author of the study.
“People are not simply the average of their traits,” he said. “Knowing that somebody is persistent, ambitious and sexy does not tell you what that person is actually like. It doesn’t make sense for us to search for partners that way.”
“Thinking about this or that feature of a person apart from taking the whole person into account doesn’t predict actual attraction,” Eagly said. “While some online dating sites have video features that provide some context, generally people are matched on their answers to specific questions that do not capture the whole person.” -Science Daily
Kit had lost people before, and it was always like this. There would be tears tonight, and anger at him and at his bridge, anger at fate for permitting this. There would be sadness, and nightmares. There would be lovemaking, and the holding close of children and friends and dogs-affirmations of life in the cold wet night. -Kij Johnson, The Man Who Bridged the Mist (October/November 2011 Asimov’s)
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