Currently viewing the tag: "dating"


A “pick-up artist” is a person who practices finding, attracting, and seducing sexual partners, and often promotes his skills in workshops for audiences of young heterosexual men. Some of these individuals suggest, as Blanc does, that they use techniques that subvert a target’s autonomy.
There is nothing unusual, of course, about thinking of ways to win over a romantic interest. However, pick-up artists can be differentiated from the bulk of the population in that they turn this normal human activity into agame—and aim to distill it down to an art form that can be improved through knowledge and rehearsal, often with a clear end-point. –Malcolm Forbes and Ryan Anderson

Fiction Writing Prompt: Write a story about a pick-up artist who picks up the wrong person.

Journaling Prompt: How do you feel about people on the make? How do you deal with them?

Art Prompt: Pick-up artist

Non-Fiction / Speechwriting Prompt: Tell your audience a humorous story about a failed effort to pick up someone of the opposite sex.

Photo Credit: bswise on Flickr

Happy Hour à Paris

Bars and restaurants with active happy hours are especially popular spots for psychopaths to sexually pursue individuals. With the wheels greased with alcohol, men and women alike are more willing to fall prey to the psychopath’s highly calculated strategies to ensnare victims. The psychopath in this setting can be spotted by picking up on the following signals: excessive, forced flattery; looking for pity or sympathy; creating a sense that the two share a deep, almost destined connection right from the start; and asking extremely personal questions too soon in service of the psychopath’s need to ascertain the victim’s emotional weaknesses. –Seth Meyers, PsyD

Fiction Writing Prompt: Write a scene in a bar with a psychopath trolling for victims.

Journaling Prompt: What advice would you give to a single friend looking to find a man.

Art Prompt: Happy hour

Non-Fiction / Speechwriting Prompt: Tell your audience how they can recognize a psychopath.

Photo Credit: beyrouth on Flickr

Online romance

Online dating scammers pretend to initiate a romantic relationship through online dating services and then defraud their victims of large sums of money over a period of months or longer. Monica Whitty, University of Leicester, UK, and Tom Buchanan, University of Westminster, London, UK, document the rapid growth in these serious crimes and how cybercriminals pursue and steal from their victims. They describe the devastating financial and emotional losses the victims suffer. –Science Daily

Fiction Writing Prompt: Write a story about an online scammer or about a victim of an online scammer who gets even.

Journaling Prompt: If you’ve tried online dating, write about the experience and what you learned from trying it.

Art Prompt: Online dating scammer

Non-Fiction / Speechwriting Prompt: Write about how society has changed and why people have to find dates online.

Photo Credit: Don Hankins on Flickr

Rome visit, June 2008 - 57

“There are two ways you can make an error as a man,” says Perilloux. “Either you think, ‘Oh, wow, that woman’s really interested in me’ — and it turns out she’s not. There’s some cost to that,” such as embarrassment or a blow to your reputation. The other error: “She’s interested, and he totally misses out. He misses out on a mating opportunity. That’s a huge cost in terms of reproductive success.” The researchers theorize that the kind of guy who went for it, even at the risk of being rebuffed, scored more often — and passed on his overperceiving tendency to his genetic heirs. The casual sex seekers “face slightly different adaptive problems,” says Perilloux. “They are limited mainly by the number of consenting sex partners — so overestimation is even more important.” Only the actually attractive men probably had no need for misperception.

The research contains some messages for daters of both sexes, says Perilloux: Women should know the risks and “be as communicative and clear as possible.” Men: “Know that the more attracted you are, the more likely you are to be wrong about her interest.” Again, that may not be as bad as it sounds, she says — “if warning them will prevent heartache later on.” –Science Daily

Writing Prompt: Write a scene or story about speed dating from the point of view of a man.

Journaling Prompt: Write about a dating experience where you misread the intentions of your date.

Art Prompt: Speed Dating
Nonfiction / Speechwriting Prompt: Tell a humorous story about a date you went on.

Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon on Flickr

Thinking... please wait

Men may think about sex more often than women do, but a new study suggests that men also think about other biological needs, such as eating and sleep, more frequently than women do, as well.

And the research discredits the persistent stereotype that men think about sex every seven seconds, which would amount to more than 8,000 thoughts about sex in 16 waking hours. In the study, the median number of young men’s thought about sex stood at almost 19 times per day. Young women in the study reported a median of nearly 10 thoughts about sex per day.

As a group, the men also thought about food almost 18 times per day and sleep almost 11 times per day, compared to women’s median number of thoughts about eating and sleep, at nearly 15 times and about 8 1/2 times, respectively.

“Since we looked at those other types of need-related thoughts, we found that it appears that there’s not just a sex difference with regard to thoughts about sex, but also with regard to thoughts about sleep and food,” she said. “That’s very significant. This suggests males might be having more of these thoughts than women are or they have an easier time identifying the thoughts. It’s difficult to know, but what is clear is it’s not uniquely sex that they’re spending more time thinking about, but other issues related to their biological needs, as well.” –Science Daily

Writing Prompt: Write a scene from two points of view – male and female. Include inner monologue.

Journaling Prompt: How often do you find yourself thinking about basic needs? Which do you think about most frequently?

Art Prompt: What are you thinking about?

Photo Credit: karola riegler photography on Flickr

Online romance

People liked potential partners that matched their ideals more than those that mismatched their ideals when they examined written descriptions of potential partners, but those same ideals didn’t matter once they actually met in person, according to a new study by psychologists Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel and Alice H. Eagly.

“People have ideas about the abstract qualities they’re looking for in a romantic partner,” said Eastwick, assistant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University and lead author of the study. “But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible.”

Say you prefer a partner who, online or on paper, fits the bill of being persistent. “After meeting in person, you might feel that, yeah, that person is persistent, but he can’t compromise on anything. It’s not the determined and diligent kind of persistent that you initially had in mind,” Eastwick said.

The idea is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, said Finkel, associate professor of psychology at Northwestern University and co-author of the study.

“People are not simply the average of their traits,” he said. “Knowing that somebody is persistent, ambitious and sexy does not tell you what that person is actually like. It doesn’t make sense for us to search for partners that way.”

“Thinking about this or that feature of a person apart from taking the whole person into account doesn’t predict actual attraction,” Eagly said. “While some online dating sites have video features that provide some context, generally people are matched on their answers to specific questions that do not capture the whole person.” –Science Daily

Writing Prompt: Write a story or scene about people who met on line and then get together for a date OR create a list for your protagonist’s ideal mate and contrast them with his or her actual mate.

Journaling Prompt: Write a list of traits for your ideal mate. Compare it to people for whom you have felt an attraction.

Art Prompt: Ideal mate

Photo Credit: Don Hankins on Flickr